We love our babies more than we could ever vocalize, right? Like we would jump in front of a car and risk our own life for them kind of sacrificial love. It’s a type of love that we are unable to put into words kind of love, you get it. We have so much love for them that it hurts our hearts to see our kids in pain or muddle through tough waters, but we know, as mature and seasoned adults that bumps and valleys are a normal part of life. Our children will need to be ready and equipped to face their own bumps as life goes on. The truth is, life will go on despite of the hurdle that we need to persevere through. Are we letting our kids navigate through the growing pains to help them gain the necessary coping skills for the bumps they will inevitably face during their life journey? I’m an optimist on most days, so I by no means mean this in a negative tone to see the bad, but let’s face it, the better we allow our kids to navigate and coach them along, the better equipped they will be in the future to deal with what comes their way. We can’t bail them out of every rocky road or hurt feeling, we need to equip and guide them, role play and model the correct responses and be careful not to remove or fix it for them. Obviously it depends on the age and severity of the situation, but for normal growing pains that come their way, remember, growth happens when pain and struggles occur. Think about it as an adult. Where there is pain, there is gain, right? Most of the time when things get tough (usually once we have gotten out of it) we reflect and know that we are stronger than when we first faced the struggle. When things get hard you grow, and perseverance is real. When, not if, you go through the next tough patch, you will be more confident knowing that you’re that much stronger because of what you endured. You remember what you handled and what you got through last time, so your mind and body know you will persevere through it. This is not to say don’t protect them and look out for their best interest by any means, but it’s simply a moment to think twice next time. Am I allowing them to work through the situation and make it out of the tangle they are in? Am I coaching them along, or am I enabling and bailing them out so they don’t have to experience the hard, in turn, hindering them from gaining the stamina they could be experiencing?
I look back now and then and think about my childhood, maybe you do too, and I reflect on what which memories and experiences I want to leave behind and out of my mind, and which I want to take and use for my own mothering journey, my one life I have to instill and help influence my kiddos. Only some of you know what my childhood was like- so much greatness and gratitude, yet at the same time hurdles I personally had to navigate through for sure. Bumps that my parents couldn’t bail me out of even if their hearts wanted to, so they had to teach me how to deal with it. We role played, they coached me and were my biggest cheerleaders when tears wanted to come flowing out like a river, or when I wanted to avoid the stings. The looks, the stares, the name calling, the internal feelings of hurt I stuffed deep down were real and ongoing, but they were dealt with not avoided or fixed for me. I was coached and guided on how to deal with it. Oh how grateful I am for the strength and stamina that was gained throughout those formative years, they carry over into life as it goes on. One of these days I will post a pic and story of those struggles, but for now, this is where my heartfelt post is coming from. I love my kids more than words can ever articulate, as you do yours. So if it seems I’m allowing my kids to navigate through a tough place, that’s ok, I know that they are strengthening those muscles as I coach them along and help them work through it. Don’t under estimate what kind of equipping each mama does in her home behind closed doors. I am sure that we each do our best and know our babies’ hearts better than any other mama. And remember that letting them chart through some rough waters with you as their cheerleader or coach, that voice of reason and wisdom, helps them produce that stamina, strength and perseverance they will inevitably use in life. Keep going at it mamas, you’re making a difference every day!
~Make it Grow